On Personal DOI's

Strike the Root asked for Root Strikers to write their own Declarations of Independence (DOI's) to be published on STR on July 4th, also curiously known as Independence Day. Rob offered as an example 'A Personal Declaration of Independence' (APDOI) which was, as far as I can determine[1], anonymously authored by 'A Friend of Thomas Paine.' One Root Striker, Alfred A. Hambidge, Jr., took up the offer with his own 'A Personal Declaration of Independence.'

My thanks to Mr. Hambidge[2] for a concise, concrete, and rather lyrical declaration of 213 words, not adjectives that I could apply to 'Friend's' DOI, which ran to 1,891 words. By way of comparison, the original American DOI weighed in at 1,322 words, not counting title or signatures.

I toyed with the idea of drafting my own DOI, but I couldn't come up with enough words to make it worthwhile as an essay-length piece. It would probably go something like this:

As an individual exercising the inherent rights associated with human beings, I declare that no other entity, natural or created, has the moral authority to infringe on said rights.

No 'When in the course of human events . . . .' No 'We hold these truths to be self-evident . . . .' After all, my personal DOI is a statement for me alone; it is not intended to be a (shall I use the word?) collective statement representing the views of three millions of human beings, or to be a persuasive argument to sway the views of the majority of the aforesaid three millions. It is an individual statement and is therefore meaningful for me only.

Also conspicuously missing is the almost obligatory list of grievances against the Steamroller. In lieu of that list, I would dearly like to include something along the lines of the Scottish Declaration of Arbroath of 1320:

'It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom--for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself.'

But that would be redundant, for what is the unfettered exercise of individual rights but freedom itself?

My declaration is 29 words long. While it does not contain the powerful and often soul-stirring rhetoric of Jefferson , et al, it fulfills the ten commandments of writing: It is clear, concrete, concise, correct, and creative; it avoids misuse, overuse, redundancy, jargon, and 'izing.' (Thanks to journalist and writer[3] Edwin Newman for those indispensable rules, rules I sometimes forget.)

I must admit that I do love the final line of the original DOI:

'. . . we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.'

In all honesty, however, that pledge is implicit in the very publication of a DOI. Anyone with the intestinal fortitude to say to the Steamroller, 'leave me alone and keep your hands off my stuff,' and indicates a willingness to back up the statement, knows he is risking all.

Most importantly, as did Mr. Hambidge, I would be willing to sign my name to my personal DOI if I were to publish it as such. As far as 'Friend's' APDOI goes, without the signature of the author it is no more meaningful than so much toilet paper. Less, actually, because who would want to wipe with printouts of it on 20-pound office paper?

If you aren't willing to sign it, to put your money where your mouth is, to put your name where your pen hand is, to put your 'life, your property, and your sacred honor' where your keyboard takes you, then you are guilty of intellectual dishonesty. I sign my work and take the consequences.

In other words Mr. 'A Friend of Thomas Paine,' the 56 signers of the original DOI did put their lives, property, and honor on the line, some with disastrous results. They didn't sign as 'A Friend of Thomas Paine,' or 'A Friend of John Locke,' or 'A. Nonie Mouse.' Why are you cloaked in anonymity? I hereby consign my copy of your DOI to the cylindrical repository as an example of excess verbiage and lack of integrity.

However, my personal declaration would not be complete without a disclaimer. I know, I know . . . . It seems rather mealy-mouthed to say 'sign it' to 'Friend' and then to add a disclaimer to my own DOI, but facts are facts. And here are a couple:

- There isn't a whole lot of wilderness to hide in any more, no place to be self-sufficient. Eric Rudolph evaded the Steamroller for eight years, but he still got caught.

- I can't get a group of guys together, form a local militia, and buy our own self-propelled 105mm gun. Ditto BAR's, Abrams tanks, Bradley fighting vehicles, MOAB's, Trident missiles, Ohio-class submarines[4] to launch aforesaid Tridents, radar, satellites, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. The revolutionaries of 1776 at least had access to the same technological level of weapons that the Redcoats did.

So, said disclaimer would go something like this:

Notwithstanding the above, I realize that I'm still going to have a Social Slave Number, pay taxes, be subject to police stops, be victimized by a myriad of government regulations designed to infringe on my rights, and generally be harassed by minions of the Steamroller, because, when all is said and done, government has a virtual monopoly on the use of lethal force.

Too wordy; it breaks the rules. Let's compress it:

I realize, however, that the omnipresent, nearly omniscient, and virtually omnipotent State doesn't really care what I write because it already has me terribly outnumbered, ridiculously outgunned, tagged, and bagged.

That adds another 30 words. Not too bad, but something's missing. Ah, yes, a final statement expressing my thoughts about the Steamroller and a declaration of personal action.

Now, in its entirety of 83 words:

As an individual exercising the inherent rights associated with human beings, I declare that no other entity, natural or created, has the moral authority to infringe on said rights.

I realize, however, that the omnipresent, nearly omniscient, and virtually omnipotent State doesn't really care what I write because it already has me terribly outnumbered, ridiculously outgunned, tagged, and bagged.

Nevertheless, I pledge that I will do whatever is in my power to make the oppressive State as irrelevant to my life as possible.

Personal DOIs, while edifying to the ego, are somewhat less than practical. But, for what it's worth, that's mine. Furthermore, it meets the rules of writing and it is signed.


[1] I could purchase at a cost of $13 'a book describing the Personal Declaration.' I assume that the book is written by the author of APDOI, but why would I waste my cash for a book describing a declaration that should be self-evident? And with no guarantee that the book is not also anonymously authored?

[2] Al, thanks also for 'The Wall.'

[3] The terms 'journalist' and 'writer' are not always mutually inclusive. Many journalists have the writing ability of a sack of corn meal.

[4] Just one Ohio class 'boomer,' fully loaded with Tridents, is the equivalent of the third most militarily powerful nation in the world.

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Joseph S. Bommarito's picture
Columns on STR: 17

Joseph Bommarito was a freelance writer who lived in Georgia.  He passed away on January 3, 2005.  Comments can be sent to his wife Sally.