Fool Me Twice...

'There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again. You've got to understand . . . ." ~ El Presidente Dubbya Bush, 9/17/02

Dear Ministry of Information,

You know, I really don't mind being lied to by my TV anymore; I just sort of take it for granted that such is its purpose in life. What does chafe my behind is when the little people inside that infernal box insult my intelligence. Look, if you're going to try and put one over on me, at least show a little respect and make it good. It's just plain demeaning when you try and hit me with something weak and transparent. You government-type people are supposed to be good with illusions, that's what my neighbors and I are paying you for. Like my TV, that's your job.

If I'm going to feel good about being stomped on by the jackboot of the State, I need to be scared. I understand that having boogeymen is essential to the survival of our glorious Security/Police State, and that I need to be convinced that Osama and Saddam are quite possibly outside my window at this very moment (as opposed to in some CIA safe-house or Texas ranch), but give me a little credit, will you? First you thought I would buy that fake Osama video, which was pretty darn insulting, but I forgave you. You made up for that fiasco when you realized that simple audiotapes would be a lot harder for average folks like me to instantly see through. Sure, some stinkin' anti-American foreigners concluded that the audio tape was bogus too, but nobody really listens to the Swiss, anyway. Heck, even if they did, we'd just start putting 'freedom cheese' on our ham sandwiches and that would shoot any credibility those guys had. It works with the French, right?

Lest I digress, let me get to my current complaint ' the Saddam tape. Can't you people come up with something original for once? Like I said, considering your video blunder, the Osama tape was a pretty good save, but you can't keep giving people a case of propaganda d'j' vu - it defeats the purpose. You see, I heard about the Saddam tape, and instantly I was reminded of the Osama tape, which in turn reminded me of the bogus video production, and pretty soon I found myself once again doubting your credibility. This does nothing to help me accept the Security/Police State. Because of your shameful lack of creativity, I am still unable to sleep peacefully under the warm blanket of deception. Please try harder in the future.


Andy Henke

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Andy Henke is 27 and lives in East Tennesse.