What Business is it of Mine How You Raise Your Kids?

A very interesting clip, Don. Stefan is usually top-rate, but this one leaves me a bit uncomfortable. Where do the lines of responsibility lie, in the matter of child-raising?
 
A teenager turns out bad; he steals and assaults people. Are his parents to blame, or is he? Even more puzzling, a couple raises two boys, using identical methods; one turns out productive and benevolent, the other follows a life of crime (the real sort.) Why?
 
Parenting is certainly one powerful factor in character formation, but at some time between birth and adult-hood the new human makes his or her own choices and becomes responsible for them. If it were otherwise, all the evil choices people make could be blamed on Eve. I can't square that with the axiom of self-ownership.