Wowie Zowie


This from US News and World Report dated May 24, 2004 : "White House officials say they've got a 'working premise' about terrorism and the presidential election: It's going to happen. 'We assume,' says a top administration official, 'an attack will happen leading up to the election.' And, he added, 'It will happen here.' There are two worst-case scenarios, the official says. The first posits an attack on Washington, possibly the Capitol, which was believed to be the target of the 9/11 jet that crashed in Pennsylvania . Theory 2: smaller but more frequent attacks in Washington and other major cities leading up to the election. To prepare, the administration has been holding secret antiterrorism drills to make sure top officials know what to do. 'There was a sense,' says one official involved in the drills, 'of mass confusion on 9/11. Now we have a sense of order.' Unclear is the political impact, though most Bushies think the nation would rally around the president. 'I can tell you one thing,' adds the official sternly, 'we won't be like Spain ,' which tossed its government days after the Madrid train bombings."

Wowie Zowie! Man, that's some powerful stuff. The least they could do is tell us when, it'd make great TV! Don't everybody over there at the White House line up to wash your hands at the sink too fast!

What exactly is a "working premise," anyway? Is that a euphemism for getting the facts right a little better this time regarding the next upcoming lie? You know, it's been mentioned that one of Gdub's first bidness partners was the brother-in-law of Uncle Joe, er Osama Bin Laden. It's really none of my business where Gdub got the investment capital to start Arbusto I suppose, I mean who am I to question that fact? It's really none of your business either, so go back to what you were doing and wait for your lottery numbers to hit. What type of attack do you suppose the Baloney Brigade will bring forth again to this great land? What, my Dear Mr. President, is it that we are to fear in these filthy-stinking, good for nothin', dirty ass, don't-eat-with-the-hand-they-wipe-their-ass-with, towel wearin' sons of bitches? Or should we be more scared of the fact that your Pops, your dear ol' Dad, that near-sighted, son of Bonesman, dad of a Bonesman, Bonesman, sittin' board member of the Carlyle Group who met with members of the Bin Laden family on or about September 11, 2001 ? Maybe I'm just paranoid, and maybe I've been reading too many subversive websites lately. I dunno. I dunno my ass from a hole in the ground anymore.

Should I stockpile food and water more so than I already have? I've never, ever owned a firearm. Should I get one?

You know, I was never personally frightened of Saddam Hussein. Never gave our former friend and ally, much in the way Manuel Noriega was, any real thought. Maybe George W. Bush was a-scared-ed, I know I never was. But now I'm getting a tad frightened. It's funny to think about, but maybe if they would have put 'em in a ring, Gdub and Sad Sack Saddam, had 'em lace 'em up, and had 'em duke it out for the title. Saddam would probably be able to hold his own for awhile, and it all could have been on pay-per-view. That true American patriot, Don King could have promoted it! But I'm not too sure how long Saddam would hold out. We haven't heard much about his upcoming execution . . . er, trial (trial first, then execution, say it George!) so I'm not certain as to Saddam's current training regimen. Anyway, Gdub runs and stays in pretty good shape, so I'd have to say in the long run the Vegas money would be on Gdub's side. As long as Laura doesn't blow him in the Oval Office the night before the fight! Besides, Gdub could always pull a train on Saddam, or some other weird, freakish crap that middle-aged, sexually repressed thumb suckers who wanna rule the world 'cause they couldn't rule their own sandbox are sometimes inclined to do, right along with his bestest buddy in hand . . . Dick.

They "assume" (You know what assume means, don't ya? I typed 'ass out of you and me' in Google search and got this link first, swear to God!) an attack will happen prior to the election. Seems like the logical next step considering we've been softened up a bit by all the odd-to-our-Constitution kinda ways we excused ourselves with when Georgie went to war to play soldier in the first place. Oh, you don't see any similarities between Nazi Germany's invasion of Poland and ours of Iraq ? You know that ol' liberal (funny I'm an anarchist) mantra about first it was MWDs, then it was Saddam, then it was liberty, then it was the Iraqi version of a thousand points of light or some sorta thing. The President never gave himself enough credit up to before the war. Had he told the American people the truth that, "We're gonna go over there and attack Iraq , we're finally gonna kick Saddam's ass real good like, and then we're gonna bitch slap him upside the head and steal all his oil!", I'm confident he could'a rallied the troops back home. You know the troops, all those SUV-driving soccer moms. You know those very moms who will be kissing their kidletts goodbye when it's their time for induction into the National Service Corps. Hey, by the way, if it's national service mixed with a socialist/fascist nation, would that make those kids . . . NAZIs?

The White House was also very kind in providing us two different worst-case scenarios. You see, with me being an Oakland Raider fan, one could possibly understand Boston being accidentally hit! But seriously folks, and all kidding aside now, this really is no laughing matter.

The unnamed official (Aren't they all?) warns us that "We won't be like Spain ." Oh goodie! Does that mean we have to look forward to the last final shredding of the last remnants of the that tired old parchment, the Constitution, in favor of a military government similar to the type the retired Tommy Franks envisions, and I would imagine, is in favor of? If it is indeed as horrific an event as 9-11 or worse, will our kids be spirited away from us and their whereabouts kept secret? Will a stern and straight-to-the-point, shoot-on-sight type martial law be in effect? Will we be made to sacrifice our homes for the comfort and safety of government-run camps? Will our property be confiscated for the public benefit? Will, overnight, our neighbors become our enemy and we theirs? Hot dog, the mind can race with all sorts freaky scenarios, all sorts the things one could never really believe would happen here or anywhere else for that matter.

Until you read a history book, and remember that most Americans have a short attention span.

The defense of liberty starts with you and me. If such a scenario developed, would you be content to live, in whatever those final moments of the universal vapor that is your life, upon the whim and at the hand of another? Or would your life be more precious than that? Are you comfortable enough with yourself and your maker to take a stand and defend your liberty and your honor as a free and sovereign individual? Or do you suppose you'd roll over like 20 million Russians or 6 million Jews did, and their countrymen (remember CYA) and allow your liberty and dignity, and that of your neighbor, to be stolen from you for perhaps the promised whiff of one last faint and final breath? Just as they shut the fuckin' oven door, right Dieter?

If you think I'm being a bit dramatic and just a wee bit over-the-top and even way, way, way too paranoid, you are most certainly entitled to your opinion. I ain't shit compared to Alex Jones, if that's the case. History is replete with many, many examples for you to either ponder or ignore, (some quite recent in history; Bosnia and "let's play hack-a-Tutsi" come to mind) of state-sponsored, approved and executed herd-thinning. The good news is that we all will meet our maker one day, whatever or whoever your maker happens to be. Wouldn't you rather meet him on your terms and not someone else's? And wouldn't you at least like to have a final say in your outcome?

The state-sponsored terrorism that is perpetuated by the Bush administration and the media is a constant reminder to me of one thing, and that is, while they (your Masters) may be in control of everything else, you are in control of two things, your mind and your life. Those can only be taken from you if you allow it.

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David C. Moorman's picture
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David C. Moorman is a struggling professional landscape designer who recently went into business for himself on account no one can stand working with the guy. To help make ends meet and to keep his old lady off his back, he is a part-time corporate liaison for a large conglomerate specializing in the logistics of specialty (Italian-American) food distribution. As previously mentioned, he is married to a Puerto Rican version of Attila the Hun, but he still feels love much the way a dog that is relentlessly kicked by his master does. The writer has two wonderful children, although their names escape him at the moment. The writer has no hobbies or anything else in life that he enjoys, sans for one thing . . . The Oakland Raiders