High-Powered Washington Fixer Tells Blood-Soaked Obama To Listen Carefully – The Onion Reports

“'Listen to me—listen to me,' the fixer said as the wide-eyed Nobel Peace Prize winner stared blankly at a framed copy of the Constitution on the wall of his private sitting room. 'Is there anything else you’re not telling me? Anything at all?'” Well, there might be a few things.