Pensioners Kidnap Financial Adviser Who Lost Them ?2m and Batter Him With Their Walkers

""Pensioners battered a financial adviser with Zimmer frames before kidnapping and torturing him for losing ?2million of their savings. James Amburn, 56, was ambushed outside his home in Speyer , western Germany , bound with masking tape and bundled into a car boot. ?It took them quite a while because they ran out of breath,? said Mr. Amburn, who was driven to the Bavarian lakeside home of one of the gang." Another news item that you'd hope would be from The Onion, but isn't."