"Anybody that wants the Presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office." ~ David Broder
The Smilers Among You
Column by Alex R. Knight III.
Exclusive to STR
I don’t know why you do it, any of you, when I talk about or discuss the fundamental issues. It is entirely inappropriate, absolutely irrational. Yet you continue to do it, almost every time.
The smiles. The grins. The amused looks – sometimes even outright laughter. It puzzles me, and it frustrates me. I’ll even admit, it upsets me – angers me, to a certain degree, that you react this way while I’m talking about these things. Don’t you understand that what I’m talking about is dead serious? Can’t you comprehend the magnitude of what I’m talking about, and its further ramifications? Can’t you see that I’m in no way trying to be amusing?
I’d suppose not. Otherwise, you wouldn’t react like this – a bunch of giggling children who think everything I’m saying is just a big joke, a comedy act put on for your amusement, and little else.
To what am I referring? Well, government, of course. Politics. Authority.
Why concern myself with such things, you ask (already cracking that grin that makes me hate the fact that I even co-exist in a world with such as yourself so much of the time)? Well, let’s see: While it is true that I don’t vote, and try to concern myself with other subjects as frequently as my time and conscience permit, here are just a few other people I haven’t managed – in spite of my best and most sincere efforts – to eliminate from my life altogether:
Tax-collectors. Police. Soldiers.
Really, I’d say it’s down to these people. Yeah, other than them, I wouldn’t really give a rat’s ass. There are, in reality, two classes of criminal in the world: The murderers, thieves, rapists, and other sociopaths in various jails and prisons – and the the bureaucrats who work within this thing called Government – both the elected and unelected kind. But the government criminals who don’t actually go out and perform the hands-on dirty work of enforcement, the ones who don’t serve as the Mafia’s goon-squad, but only give orders – they’re in a sense irrelevant. Of what significance, after all, would their “laws” and dictums and orders be, if it weren’t for the mindless or power-mad automatons and sadists with weapons who deprive the rest of humanity of their lives, liberty, and property at the behest of the former? Let the politicians and other useless pencil-pushers scream and yell and tear their hair out all day and all night for all I care. Without goons to make me comply by violent force, their sick cogitations and perverse political fantasies would be as irrelevant as the shrieks of hyenas in a forest.
But you think all of this is funny, don’t you? Amusing in some equally sick way. I’m just an angry, malcontented radical with a lot of nutty ideas about people being free, after all, aren’t I? And such things aren’t nearly as important or relevant as NFL football, or NASCAR, or American Idol, or Oprah, or Dancing With the Stars, or video games, or how cute Michelle Obama looks in a dress.
No, people like Alex Knight really don’t have anything important or practical to say, and besides, if anyone were to openly acknowledge agreeing with him, they’d be running pretty short on friends pretty fast, because being accepted is always more important than being correct, right? In fact, social acceptance must be achieved at all costs – there’s just no other way to have a happy life, so let’s all mill around in circles pretending to think like everyone else without ever saying anything that might be considered unpopular. That’s the key to contentment, and smooth sailing, and let’s face it: getting laid next Saturday night. Never mind all this Doestoeovskian stuff about “living with the truth no matter how painful” . . . who the hell is Doestoevsky, anyway? Another kook like Alex Knight?
Here’s the thing: I hope you also think it’s just a barrel of laughs when the IRS destroys someone . . . because I don’t, never did, and never will. I hope you think it’s a big comedy fest the next time you or someone you know goes to jail for drugs. I hope you just salivate with glee when a family loses their house to the worthless excuses for human life who sit on the local board of selectmen for an inability to pay property taxes that keep the unionized government-school indoctrination machine running so smoothly. I hope you roar with delight when a bunch of Pakistani, or Afghan, or Yemeni kindergarteners end up with their heads and limbs blown off by CIA drone strikes while your kid drools into his applesauce from the safety of a high chair. I hope you just love every instance of police brutality, every dollar of tax taken by force, every pound of flesh massacred, and every ounce of total waste engaged in by the bloodthirsty, thieving, centralized force that uses as their constant excuse in everything they do the idea that it’s the end of the world without them.
Really funny. Totally amusing. And sorry to spoil your good time, but I’m going to shut up now.
I hope you laugh yourselves to death.