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Joined: 2009-08-30
Columns on STR: 53
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Jonathan David Morris
United States

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Jonathan David Morris writes a weekly column on politics and personal freedoms.  His website is

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Columns by Jonathan David Morris

Note to Republicans: Impeach Bush!
Jonathan David ... 2007-07-17 15:00
July 18, 2007 It's great to see so many Republicans jumping off the George W. Bush bandwagon. Now that it's considered political suicide for the GOP to support its own president, maybe we'll finally have a party in Washington with the guts to impeach him.
On Immigration: Take Our Freedoms, Please!
Jonathan David ... 2007-06-19 15:00
June 20, 2007 I'm glad immigration is in the news these days. I love when people start discussing immigration. No other topic does a better job of popping the veins in Bill O'Reilly's forehead.
Fixing the Presidential Debates
Jonathan David ... 2007-06-05 15:00
I found myself watching another Democratic presidential debate the other day. I'm honestly not sure why I keep subjecting myself to these things. Whose idea was it to put Wolf Blitzer onstage with the Democrats-for-president the same week Jack Kevorkian got out of prison? Is there a human being on the planet with a less favorable name-to-personality ratio than Wolf Blitzer? As far as I'm...
Giuliani Is Delusional
Jonathan David ... 2007-05-22 15:00
May 23, 2007 I like how people think Rudy Giuliani won the second Republican presidential debate. I guess that depends on your definition of 'won.' To me, he only won it if the idea was to look like a fool. After hearing Ron Paul explain the CIA's concept of blowback'the idea that American foreign policy stirred up the hate that inspired 9/11'Rudy took a stern look and quickly responded: 'That's...
Tonight, We Dine on the Virgin Mary
Jonathan David ... 2006-08-29 15:00
Dear Uncanny Image of the Virgin Mary:
On Decency and the Death of Zarqawi
Jonathan David ... 2006-06-13 15:00
America is a strange country. Last week, the U.S. military ended the life of one Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a high-profile terrorist leader who had been wreaking relative havoc both on Iraq as well as my MS Word spellchecker for years. Like most Americans, I consider Zarqawi's death to be generally helpful. I also tend to view him as someone who fundamentally deserved to die. Anyone who's seen the...
How Our Shortsighted Media Got Us Into War
Jonathan David ... 2006-04-26 15:00
Should I consider it weird how none of my friends have ever joined the army? In and of itself, I suppose this feat is nothing exceptional. I know lots of people who've never done lots of things. Like racecar driving or becoming an astronaut. After September 11th, however, lots of my friends talked about enlisting like they were all but a shaved head and a new pair of boots away from...
How Our Shortsighted Media Got Us Into War
Jonathan David ... 2006-03-28 15:00
I like how the cool thing in pro-war circles right now is to say that Iraq is going quite well, but that it's the media's fault for focusing on the bad stuff. Maybe if journalists spent more time checking and balancing the government than ducking claims of Red or Blue bias, we wouldn't've gone to war over faulty intelligence, and there wouldn't be any bad stuff to focus on in the first place...
The Failure of the Iraq War
Jonathan David ... 2006-03-21 16:00
In last week's article, I wrote that 'the only thing America's confident in anymore is its military.' Predictably, I got a couple of letters from people who angrily denied this assertion'only to turn around and remind me we wouldn't be free if people hadn't 'shed blood' for our country. This was basically exactly what I was getting at. America's a nation enamored by its military.
It's Time to Forget September 11
Jonathan David ... 2006-03-14 16:00
It's time to forget September 11th. That's right. You heard me. It's time to push it out of our minds. You can hoot and holler all you want about this concept. You can say I'm anti-American. You can even accuse me of spitting on the memories of all those who died. But you would miss the point of what I'm about to say here, because this has nothing to do with the heroes or...
By a Show of Hands, Who Cares About the First Amendment?
Jonathan David ... 2006-03-07 16:00
Seventeen percent of Americans think the First Amendment guarantees them the right to drive a car. I'm not kidding about this. Last week, the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum announced the results of a survey of 1,000 Americans, which suggested our country is more familiar with Simpsons characters, commercial slogans, and the judges from American Idol than with the five freedoms...
Right Brain + Left Brain = No Brain
Jonathan David ... 2006-01-31 16:00
Last week, Drew Westen of Emory University announced the results of a study conducted before the 2004 election, which examined the brains of George Bush and John Kerry supporters. The results of this study suggested that partisan thinking derives not from reason but pure emotion. When faced with favorable facts about their candidates, the men's brains lit up like junkies getting their fix on....
Tookie, Continued
Jonathan David ... 2006-01-10 16:00
I know a lot of dumb people who've said a lot of dumb things. In fact, I am one of those people. I've said that only-children tend to be spoiled in front of people who didn't have brothers and sisters. I've made fun of people without college educations in front of people who it turned out never went to college. I regularly make a complete and total ass out of myself. I should probably find a way...
Tookie, Continued
Jonathan David ... 2005-12-06 16:00
Last week, I wrote a column in which I implored the State of California not to execute convicted murderer and Crips co-founder Stan 'Tookie' Williams. I've been getting some pretty interesting responses to that column. Well, maybe 'interesting' isn't the right word. Most of the responses have been pretty standard. Few have been thought-provoking. But I guess it's just the overriding sentiment'...
The Honest Truth About Honest Abe
Jonathan David ... 2005-10-04 15:00
As we speak, the town of Dover, Pennsylvania, is debating whether intelligent design theory ought to be mentioned in public school science classes. I find it somewhat ironic that we're discussing how to teach the origins of life when we can't even straighten out how to teach what happened after it began. Forget about science. Let's talk about the most one-sided, whitewashed subject in all of...
Rock Is Dead and Live 8 Killed It
Jonathan David ... 2005-07-12 15:00
All right, let me just get this off my chest: On Saturday, July 2, 2005, I, Jonathan David Morris, totally failed to eradicate African poverty. That's right. Live 8 came to Philly and I stayed home. I had my reasons, of course. Parking. Restroom access. A concert line-up'Will Smith and Josh Groban, together at last'too remarkable to bear. But most importantly, I stayed home out of...
Free Speech vs. the Flag
Jonathan David ... 2005-06-22 15:00
Hilarious. That's the only word I can use to describe recent statements by Thomas Cadmus of the American Legion. The House of Representatives has passed an amendment to the U.S. Constitution banning "physical desecration" of the American flag. The measure will now move on to the Senate, and if it passes -- which it will, based on recent GOP history -- it will move to the states, 38 of which are...
The Non-Aggression Principle
Jonathan David ... 2005-05-31 15:00
A short time ago'okay, okay, way back in January'I began a discussion on the definition of libertarianism, which I've been meaning to continue ever since. The January column focused on two things: (1) the average libertarian's dislike for government; and (2) the average libertarian's dislike for average libertarians. While it's certainly true that most libertarians see the government as the mafia...
What Is the Dark Side?
Jonathan David ... 2005-05-24 15:00
Okay, so here's a question for you: Suppose good and evil are as clearly defined in real life as they are in the Star Wars saga. You've got good guys who wear white and seek the ways of the Force, and bad guys who wear black and use the Force's Dark Side. In such a clear and unambiguous universe, who, in their right mind, would choose evil? And why?
Real ID: A License to Kill
Jonathan David ... 2005-05-17 15:00
Well, congratulations, America, you finally did it. You finally collapsed into absolute tyranny.
On Terri Schiavo
Jonathan David ... 2005-03-28 15:00
A longtime reader emailed me after last week's article to ask why I wrote about steroids instead of Terri Schiavo. The honest answer is, because I didn't feel like writing about Terri Schiavo. That's right. It's that easy. I didn't feel like writing about her. In fact, I still don't. The only reason I'm writing this is to tell you I don't feel like writing it. I can't look at Terri Schiavo for...
Vermont Agrees to Disagree
Jonathan David ... 2005-03-08 16:00
Did Vermont just secede from the Union? You may have missed it, but roughly 50 Vermont towns passed resolutions last week calling for the return of their National Guardsmen from Iraq. 'They can't do that,' you say. Sure they can. They just did.
Duke, Where's My Car?
Jonathan David ... 2005-02-08 16:00
I have to admit the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard movie has a strong supporting cast. Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville will play the good old boys, Bo and Luke Duke. Willie Nelson will play Uncle Jesse. Burt Reynolds is the surprising'yet promising'choice for Boss Hogg. And, finally, Jessica Simpson will step off the set of her made-for-TV marriage and into some short shorts as the Pride of...
Libertarians: Defined
Jonathan David ... 2005-01-25 16:00
In last week's column, I referred to myself as a libertarian, which I defined as 'nicepeoplespeak for a 'guy who doesn't like government.'' After that article published, I got a letter from a guy named Mike. Mike's worried that many of his friends are becoming self-professed libertarians without really knowing what libertarianism is.
One State, Two State, Red State, Blue State
Jonathan David ... 2004-11-09 16:00
John Kerry says 'there are no losers' 'in an American election.' There's a part of me that finds this ironic, given that it was said during his concession speech, and given that concession, by definition, means admitting defeat. But then there's another part of me that realizes irony, by definition, means something unexpected'which would disqualify what Kerry said, since it's what we'd expect...