Adam Engel's picture
Joined: 2009-08-30
Columns on STR: 14
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Short bio:

Adam Engel is shocked, simply shocked that U.S. troops would allow themselves to get caught using POWs as human sex toys.


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Columns by Adam Engel

Gallipoli for Dummies
Adam Engel 2004-10-31 17:00
Hello, Boobus Americanus. It's been almost two years since we last spoke. You've gotten yourself into all sorts of mischief since then. War, environmental meltdown, economic distress. You're a mess. All because you follow THE MAN, even though THE MAN, in HIS current incarnation, is a coterie of fanatics, Chicken Hawks, religious zealots, liars, dual-loyalists and outright traitors. The first...
Rotten to the Corps
Adam Engel 2004-05-09 16:00
That woman's impish white face and the rattish mug of her assistant, using hooded brown bodies like giant dildos: striking, humiliating, creepy, but not abnormal in a place where "striking" means air-strikes; "humiliating" means demolishing of homes and livelihoods, not to mention rape and plunder; and "creepy" is blood, blood, blood everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Usually, during the...
What"s Left?
Adam Engel 2004-01-25 17:00
Don't get me wrong. I'm no corporatist. I don't know anything about markets, free or otherwise, so I really have no right to comment on them. Nevertheless, my natural hatred of authority, and something inside me that says that every child should have at least a decent opportunity to get an education, three squares a day, and sleep every night with a roof over his head, and old and sick people...
Abraham & Sons, LLP
Adam Engel 2004-01-11 17:00
Okay, see I'm trying to figure out why half the world's population still believes in angry sky gods who HATE PEOPLE (especially women). This much I got: Jews tried to ruin all the fun in the ancient world (they sure tried to ruin my fun as a kid) by slaughtering anyone who wouldn't kiss the spacious yet invisible tuchass of Yahweh. Then Jesus came along and tried to loosen...
Enough Is Too Much
Adam Engel 2004-01-04 17:00
Dead sheep shuffle. Do the dead sheep shuffle. Get in line. Waste your time. Get yer gonads groped and your belongings touched by strangers' fingers. Get shoved, get yelled at. "No, you ASS, don't go down THAT line, I said THIS ONE HERE." Reaction of the other sheep not, "Where do you get off telling this guy what to do?" Reaction of other sheep was, "Where do you get off not following...
Queer as Grass
Adam Engel 2003-07-06 16:00
It just occurred to me, I mean really occurred to me, that pot is illegal. For the first time since I was 16, when EVERYTHING was illegal, I smoked two puffs ('hits,' they called them in 1981, or 'tokes,' I think) and it helped me get to sleep. This is a good thing. I stopped smoking pot at 16 because it made me paranoid. I'm still paranoid. But at least now I can trace the source of my...
U.S. Troops Outta Times Square
Adam Engel 2003-06-26 16:00
Camouflage. Boots. Automatic weapons. Real Vietnam stuff: spooky, fetid atmosphere; scared, bored troops who don't really know why they're in that hellish jungle. Fat commanding officers, confident in overwhelming victory, hitting on female troops. A stressed-out populace, hoping to get where they're going with as little hassle as an occupied people can get away with. But this ain't Vietnam, it...
The Fat MAN in Little Boy
Adam Engel 2003-06-22 16:00
Let's talk about the night The Fat MAN raped you. How old were you, seven, eight, nine? I was eight, I think. 'KABOOM!' the Fat MAN screamed. 'What? What?' 'Only kidding,' laughed The Fat MAN, stroking HIS Bomb. 'Go back to sleep.' 'Jesus Christ. How the Hell'm I suppose to sleep NOW?' 'Relax. If I had really let this sucker go, you'd be part of the rug by now. A little Rorschach blot of...
Uncle Sam Is YOU
Adam Engel 2003-05-18 16:00
Bloated and paranoid addicts of sugar, salt, lard, beer, nicotine, aspartame and MSG ' Oh, Boobus Americanus, carnivorous sheep, slaughtering and led to slaughter ' Uncle Sam is YOU!
Flag in the Rain
Adam Engel 2003-05-11 16:00
Bored white corpuscles, the wife and I alternately crept and cruised the clogged arteries of Empire on our way to some godforsaken suburb to visit reactionary relatives in the rain.
Psycho Terrorists from Outer Space
Adam Engel 2003-03-17 17:00
IMAGINE, if you will, a Power even greater than the U.S. Military: 'Aliens! Terrorists! They're jealous of our Freedoms and our stock options!' cries Dubya, crouched in a fetal position under the Presidential desk. It's true. Psycho Terrorists from the Galaxy of Pissed Off Aliens have begun amassing squadrons of flying saucers over Planet Earth, and they mean business. They want us to...
The Damned
Adam Engel 2003-03-02 17:00
I was invited, not long ago, via email, to a Candlelight vigil to stop the invasion of Iraq , or melt the icy heart of Rumsfeld, or short-circuit the electronic ticker of the Veep, I'm not quite sure.
Lizard Brain on Line for the Log Flume
Adam Engel 2003-02-16 17:00
Pyrning in a widening gyre, invoking my ire, began at 42nd street and 3rd and three hours later wound up on 72nd and 1st, finally. First avenue was our destination all along. Every few blocks or so the cops would say 'just a few more blocks then you can turn on to first,' until the whole parade of us ' silly authorities: by prohibiting a march they created one ' wound up on 72nd street, where I...
Damn Right to Bear Arms
Adam Engel 2003-02-09 17:00
'The main reason people must have the right to bear arms is for the balance of power. Once the government even knows the location of all the weapons, the people no longer have the ability to stop despotism. (This, of course, implies that the people would want to stop it, as is clearly not the case in the U.S. ) . . . As for snipers and mad bombers, they are only the first symptoms of a...