Why Earth Is ET's Top Rated Reality Show

Column by Douglas Herman.

Exclusive to STR

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” ~ William Shakespeare

“To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Suppose you took one visually interesting blue-green, life-sustaining planet and put it among bleak planets, black emptiness and hot, gassy planets. Which planet would you most want to visit? Add a violent yet generous life form of bipeds, homicidal humanitarians, part saint, part sociopath, and wouldn’t you have a must-see planet? A planetary petri dish, a fishbowl of human flotsam and jetsam, specially made for alien researchers, a species remarkably trying to kill itself while laughably considering itself a higher life form.

What Older Aliens Tell Newcomers on their First Earth Visit: A Brief Overview

Humanoids are both predictable and unpredictable. Violent and gentle. Warm-hearted and warlike. Rule One: Never confront a human if possible. Observe at a distance. Send a probe, drone, or elusive orb, if need be. Earthlings used to call these fast-moving orbs Foo-Fighters during their last episode of concerted violence, as they refer to World War II. Observe humans as human scientists observe apes or ants. Just as ants never suspect human scientists could possess the speed of sound or hypersonic speed, so too humans never suspect we possess the speed of hyper-light.

Most baffling to newcomers is this earthling love of money. Their humanoid brain is beset a hundred or even a thousand times daily with thoughts of money. All great human crimes are directly linked to this thing called money. Indeed, if you were to be somehow captured by humans, the first thought any human would have would be to determine how much you would be worth in their money. Do not be caught. Also do not waste time trying to sort through their various bizarre money applications. Most human money is created from a common substance called paper.

Gold and silver, once shaped into various forms of human money, is another earthly preoccupation. As you already know, these common mineral substances fell from space onto earth millions of years ago in relatively small amounts. For thousands of years, tribes of humans labored like ants to extract this gold or silver, and then store it away or fight over it. In the meantime they wear it, as some sort of bizarre cultural affectation.

Now you newcomers to earth must quickly realize that earthlings live and labor chiefly for the sake of diversion. Called entertainment, the wide diversity of mind-numbing behavior knows no limits. Professional athletes and actors are paid hundreds of millions of this paper money to perform feats that no alien would waste precious time doing. And billions of earthlings waste precious time watching them! The adulation of earthlings for athletes and actors still baffles the wisest alien researcher. Why a humanoid who puts a spheroid object, called the “ball,” into a tiny area should merit kingly adoration seems insane. And yet the worldwide masses adore anyone who can divert them from some inner funk. Truly, if humans avoided war and diversion for only ONE year, they could solve all the problems of their world forever and each live like a princeling, enjoying a near paradise in the process.

As you watch earthlings, most will be oblivious of you. They have been taught that you do not exist; that you cannot exist. Our slowest moving ships may appear over their greatest human cities in broad daylight, and still the so-called wisest humans will deny our existence. Bizarre? Yes, but fortunate for our researchers, humans are neither rational nor farsighted. The simplest humans may look up and wonder about us, but the most educated of humans rarely do. Why this is so still perplexes our greatest galactic minds. Some suggest it may be a conditioned response.

Some Back History for Extraterrestrial Newcomers

During monitor research, our Roswell probe ships crashed in July 1947 due to the young hotshot pilots flying into and around severe electromagnetic storms, called “lightning” storms by earthlings. The storms knocked out all the power and the ships crashed and the technology fell into the hands of earthlings. Why Roswell, you ask? At the time, this place in New Mexico was the epicenter of humanoid nuclear testing. We visited Los Angeles in 1942, unwisely terrorizing the natives enough that they pounded our spacecraft with their puny weapons. We visited Washington DC throughout July of 1952, in the mistaken belief that officials there may one day realize they are not omnipotent. Hudson Valley, New York was another longtime area of our interest, as is every strategic military base housing advanced systems. One day we may observe these military bases in action. The result will not be pretty. One of the humanity’s more gifted souls said: “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” We are here to record the preceding and subsequent events of World War III.

You will realize that war consumes humans. What purpose does war serve? The destruction of their greater good, of their community, of their greater selves, for the profit of a few, appears to be a mass form of hypnosis. The simple truth about war is clear to the youngest earth child. Yet the utter insanity of adult humans seems to be without limit. At any given moment, a few psychopaths, called world leaders, can ably direct scores of sociopaths to control the masses of earthlings using violence, propaganda, terror and fear. Why? Once again for this thing called money but also for this addictive drug called power. If humans knew how tenuous their civilization is on this planet earth, at this given moment, they would quickly pause, overwhelm the psychopaths and sociopaths, and become what they are not now. Civilized.

The Duty of All Alien Observers

We are here to observe, not pass judgment. We are scientists; they are a species to be studied. Earthlings have a limited amount of time left. All but a few humans, the simple ones who look up in wonder, realize their world could be swept away suddenly with something as simple as say, a nuclear exchange, a corona mass ejection or a small asteroid strike. We are here to observe and record that event. To see if humans finally destroy themselves. Simple as that.

Even as humans observe the rise or demise of sub-species here on earth, we are here in increasing numbers to witness what happens to them. We may intercede. We may not. We have interceded before. Military humans have witnessed our intercessions. And yet we may be beyond intercession. You newcomers to this planet may witness a cataclysmic earthly event. These are exciting times for any researcher. Welcome to our team!

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Douglas Herman's picture
Columns on STR: 149

Award winning artist, photographer and freelance journalist, Douglas Herman can be found wandering the back roads of America. Doug authored the political crime thriller, The Guns of Dallas  and wrote and directed the Independent feature film,Throwing Caution to the Windnaturally a "road movie," and credits STR for giving him the impetus to write well, both provocatively and entertainingly. A longtime gypsy, Doug completed a 10,000 mile circumnavigation of North America, by bicycle, at the age of 35, and still wanders between Bullhead City, Arizona and Kodiak, Alaska with forays frequently into the so-called civilized world of Greater LA. Write him at Roadmovie2 @ Gmail.com